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Post by Doh on Dec 3, 2004 9:27:04 GMT 1
A primary teacher starts a new job at a school on Merseyside and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan.
She asks her pupils to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Liverpool fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asks: "Well, if you're not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I'm a Manchester United fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a United fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are from Manchester, and my mum is a United fan and my dad is a United fan, so I'm a United fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a United fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time.
What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief, what would you be then?"
"Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."
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Post by islay malt on Dec 3, 2004 19:00:58 GMT 1
That's not at all funny  How could you say something like that? Everyone knows that all Liverpool fans are pillars of society ;D P.S Sorry for delay in replying. Have been away on business for a couple of days. And no, I wasn't organising a charity event in aid of 'Give a Scouse a Christmas' either |
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Post by WiggyinHinstock on Dec 4, 2004 1:31:07 GMT 1
 But- since I work (well until Christmas, anyway) in Posh Scouseland- Allerton - a stone's throw from Woolton, opposite the golf-course if you Scouseshrews know it- well- that's a million miles from yer typical stereotype Scouse, isn't it? AND YET- We had a student- Mum and Dad lived in one of the typical-of-the-area big detached rather grand houses. One day- she didn't turn up. Dad in Prison for.... you've guessed it- drugs. A "Mr Big", no doubt. Sad, isn't it? I reckon that kid's just as "disadvantaged" as any from an inner city council estate.
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Post by OldGit on Dec 4, 2004 11:03:55 GMT 1
Didn't Liverpool once have a manager called f*gin? I believe he was a direct descendant of the chap in Oliver Twist who schooled young uns in the finer art of picking a pocket or two...... This, IMO, has lead to the appalling crime statistics amongst youngsters in Scouseshire who might otherwise have gone on to have fine careers as safe crackers,  drivers and even Time share salesmen  why has Fagin been edited by this site?? Can't think of anything remotely offensive like it - any suggestions? |
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Post by faginy on Dec 4, 2004 11:06:04 GMT 1
because fa g is sometimes used in the states to describe homosexual people in an insulting way. |
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Post by OldGit on Dec 4, 2004 11:08:27 GMT 1
"homosexual" ??
Fine people like Dale Winton?
I know he smokes the odd fag - is that it?
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Post by faginy on Dec 4, 2004 11:10:02 GMT 1
what you on about old git? ;D
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Post by OldGit on Dec 4, 2004 11:11:05 GMT 1
very neat  |
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Post by ratcliffesghost on Dec 5, 2004 20:49:03 GMT 1
Found this one on the West Ham website tonight Islay  Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm " Scouse eggs". The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He rushes back to his cruiser and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers. "I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the F*** ers have managed to nick a motorbike already." |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2004 20:57:32 GMT 1
FAG
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2004 20:57:56 GMT 1
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