o/t- Boyfriends at thirteen.

[wiggyinhinstock]

My granddaughter,Leah, has got her first real boyfriend- spending bhours on the telephone..etc...

Given the climate of today, I can't help but be concerned.

I hear so many stories- about kids of only 12, even.

I had a boyfriend at 13- he lived on a farm at Winstanswick - not far from here (This is the one who died of pneumonia aged only 16) but it was all innocence in those days. He bought me wagon wheels from the tuck-shop at school- went to tea with his Mum and Dad at the farm- absolutely nothing but a kiss or two!!

These days- well, it frightens me- and there's so much pressure.

Am I being a silly old-fashioned thing or what?!!!

I can't say I didn't rebel against my Mum's standards later- but I wasn't a kid.

At least I had a carefree time as a kid- and I feel they're being forced into growing up too soon.

[rob]

They've got to grow up sometime....

As long as they are only holding hands/ "getting off"-kissing then i doubt you have too much to worry about.

Dont hassel her too much about it, the more you hassel and the more disaproving you act the more likely she is to "rebell".

Keep cool, its only natural for them to take an interest in each other.

[jamo]

I think all you can really do Wiggy is trust that all your advice and guidance in the past as been enough to prepare her for the dreaded teenage years.
If you make it clear that you're happy for her to meet new friends and take on more responsibilty and accept the boyfriend into the family irrespective of your own feeling's that will help a lot.
Make it clear that you will still be there if needed and remain supportive, and finally pray to any god you can think of that she doesn't bring someone like Jeevsey through the door.

[harmerhillshrew]

Good shout Jamo

I saw your parental advice at first hand last night, concerning legal and illegal substances when Jamojunior was lumped with Wrighty and Whitters in the Quiz.

Pauline, how true does this ring.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

Written in 1964

You have to trust them, however hard.

[shrewforever]

Someone told me once when I was bemoaning the loss of someone special that I didnt love her anyway.

I was very upset and screamed in anger at my friend how dare he say that and that I loved her more than anything or anyone I'd ever known.

No you dont he replied..............




you cant let her go..............


Not alot to do with this situation I know but always worth bearing in mind IMO....

[wiggyinhinstock]

Yes- there is a lot to do with this situation- let them go- and I hope I do- but I still worry, though I say nothing!

But then it's wrong to worry!

My Mum was MEGA strict- and accused me of things I'd never even thought of- she said it was "A mother's worry!"- and in the end, I guess it did push me into being rebellious- though I was certainly a late starter!!
I know now where she was coming from- and I understand.

What it is- you want them to have a happy life- and be in control of things- not feeling they have to comply with peer-pressure, and have uneccessary heartache that they could avoid.

On the other hand, young relationships can even last - I read that (my hero!!) Jose Mourinho and his wife have been together since their early years- she was only 15.
He's reported as saying that he has a very happy family life.

But, yes, I take what you mean- you shouldn't pry and hasstle- and I don't- but I'm a worrier by nature!!

[Simon]

Being 18, its all still relevent to me what its like being 13 .... and you dont have much to worry about ..... all they get upto at that age is kissing and holding hands

therez hardly enough there in some cases to have a bit of touchy feely ;D