Post by thesensationaljt on Nov 24, 2014 19:56:36 GMT 1
I've done three. Juan serious, Juan half serious, and one for a bit of a loff.
I organised a match against an Old Wolves XI, with MENCAP getting all the profits. We had a clever plan, which involved us using wingers getting round the back of them. (I'm sure no Juan else had thought of that. ). Any road up, they had that covered. They had a knack of guiding our players into corner, with no room to get out.
Now those wuuflers were unbeaten, and they weren't going to let us knock them off their pedestal. Any Juan remember Pat Foley the radio presenter? He was an honorary wolf, and spent all game moaning at the referee. Their first touch and speed of thought was amazing considering most of them were in their 40s and even 50s. I think only Phil Parkes and Willie Carr were the exceptions.
There were about 650 in the crowd, so I decided that as I hadn't played in front of that many people before, and I'd organised the event after all, I was going to have a 10 minute cameo or perhaps a camel appearance. Besides, I'm sure the crowd had only come to watch my 4 pass, 25% success rate. Stop me if I've told you this before, , but I went up front to partner Walsall supporter, Andy Heaton. I was stood in front of Wolves stopper, Eddie Clamp, and having watched him tackling like he was still playing as if his life depended on it, I said to Andy, "we've got to switch over". No Juan had said that at all, but I didn't fancy Clampy kicking me. Andy didn't say a word, but dutifully changed places. The first ball that came to Andy's feet, he tried to shield it, before laying it off. I winced as Clamp went straight through Heaton, sending him flying. (He didn't even get a free kick!). Looking up at Clamp with a hurt expression, Heaton said, "hey, steady on mate, it's only a friendly". Clamp looked down at Andy with a snarl on his face. "Only a ****ing friendly? Twenty years ago I'd have kicked you over that ****ing wall!).
Any road, we lost 5 - 2.
Played a semi serious match against a young side put together by Friends of ARMS. (Action and research into Multiple Sclerosis). I played the whole match on the wing. I'd played there a lot at skool, so it wasn't a new position to me, and I discovered I could still cross a ball. (It's just that my legs had gone).
Juan 5 - 1.
My third charity game was a team of men in fancy dress, against a ladies team at a fete several of us had organised, again for Friends of ARMS. Juan of the committee volunteered to do the posters, as he had access to hi lite pens and paper. We jumped at the chance, because he was an excellent artist. A school lent us a field for the event, all the stalls were organised, and we all waited with baited breath for Beaky's posters. They were superb, with lovely pictures, inviting everyone to A Grand Garden FEAT. Mass panic ensued, with the indignant Beaky insisting his spelling was correct.
The match was rather a Juan sided affair. I'd got hold of a couple large nurses uniforms, and Gary pinched two of his wife's suspender belts and stockings. I was a bit reluctant to put them on, it was a first for me, (honest!). We were putting them on, when Carl's stunning wife came into the changing tent to see how we were getting on. "Here, let me", she said. Crikey! I couldn't believe my luck. It's the first time I've felt a little stiff BEFORE a game.
We were thrashed by about 12 goals, which wasn't a great surprise, as the ladies had about 20 players in their team. They also kept dragging us to the ground and holding us down. I can still remember lying on my back, just staring at the blue sky, with several giggling women lying on top of me, thinking, "the things you do in the name of charity..........they wouldn't wriggle like that if they knew I was a lesbian.......wonder what the chances are of being pulled off before the end of the match?......."
So for me, it's 3 charity matches, 2 charities. Can you add to that?