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Post by ThrobsBlackHat on Apr 21, 2004 2:14:42 GMT 1
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Someone has stolen Monkey!
I went to the game tonight, and a few people were looking after my humble beast, and then, whoosh, he was gone!
Some beggar nicked my monkey!
Who could be responsible for such thievery?
From whom can I expect such skullduggery?
Shame on you monkey stealer, I am now apeless and lonely in Shrewsbury
Can anyone help?
When did you last see my monkey?
Will you join the search party?
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Post by rob on Apr 21, 2004 2:19:13 GMT 1
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Post by ThrobsBlackHat on Apr 21, 2004 2:24:24 GMT 1
It is not lost Rob, it is stolen, thieved, it wasn't left anywhere, it was there, then, it was gone!
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
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Post by Theoneandonly on Apr 21, 2004 8:09:58 GMT 1
Gutted Someone got there before me ;D
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Post by jamojunior on Apr 21, 2004 9:19:07 GMT 1
When did you last see my monkey? I saw him and you walking to the match or the pub.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2004 9:26:00 GMT 1
wtf? Where's he gone? He's got my scrambled egg shirt on still!!
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Post by Inspector Gadget on Apr 21, 2004 10:04:34 GMT 1
Wowsers! I'm on the case Go go gadget magnified glass
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Post by Bilbo on Apr 21, 2004 10:45:16 GMT 1
Can you assure me that the Monkey was stoilen and that you didn't mislay in the Ramna's last night in a drunken stupour?
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Post by somersetshrew on Apr 21, 2004 11:05:10 GMT 1
Are you sure this isn't a wind up, or prank, and that at some stage you will receive a ransom note?
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Post by BelleVueShrew on Apr 21, 2004 12:38:19 GMT 1
Last I recall seeing him mate was when you came in the sponsors lounge. Then I had a drink and then.........I don't remember!!
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Post by Stue_P on Apr 21, 2004 13:02:44 GMT 1
I've nevee had the honour of meeting 'monkey', but this case of thievery is a disgrace!
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MrTea
Midland League Division Two
Posts: 146
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Post by MrTea on Apr 21, 2004 13:25:58 GMT 1
It's not thievery!! It's kidnap plain and simple Shocking
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Post by jamo on Apr 21, 2004 13:38:37 GMT 1
Be prepared to recieve one of monkey's fingers through the post . Pay nothing at this stage, they're just testing out your resillience and strength. Even as we speak he is probably riding around a field on the back of Shergar.
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Post by ThrobsBlackHat on Apr 21, 2004 15:41:22 GMT 1
There was no drunken stupur to blame it on, just some pesky town fans!
Last I saw he was being carried by a Mr Phil Thomas. He assures me he left him on the table in the sponsors lounge. Fromt his point on he disappeared. I am increasingly worried as I fear he may be sold into life as a circus monkey!
I conducted a full and conclusive search of GM this morning with a team of forensic experts and found definitely that I have as much chance of finding monkey as I have of finding someone who thinks £45 is good value for money
Whoever the cruel beast is who stole him, spare a thought for his owner, a place above my TV where he lives looks cold and empty...
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Post by wiganshrew2 on Apr 21, 2004 16:04:27 GMT 1
Terrible news, indeed, TBH! Do you think someone is holding him to ransom? Has he been- I hardly dare say it- Apenapped? I hate to think of him tied up somewhere, starved of his bananas and missing being held by his usual entourage of girlies. It's making me cry, now!!!! Try offering a reward, TBH- we'll all chip in with a contribution, I'm sure. This CANNOT happen before the playoffs.
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Post by Stue_P on Apr 21, 2004 16:09:45 GMT 1
I hope it's not anyone who reads this board If so shame on you!
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Post by ssshrew on Apr 21, 2004 17:40:52 GMT 1
This is dreadful news indeed. Do you think he has gone to the seaside early? Will he turn up on Saturday in fancy dress possibly dressed as a human!!
Will we indeed have to raise a ransome sum for him. Did anyone search the ref when he left last night - he seems to have been responsible for upsetting everyone - why not the monkey?
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Post by Marlon Brando on Apr 21, 2004 17:47:56 GMT 1
The Monkey sleeps in the Three Fishes
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Post by ShrewsAdee on Apr 21, 2004 17:52:35 GMT 1
.. I bet he found my £40 and went on a bender!
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Post by ThrobsBlackHat on Apr 21, 2004 20:57:19 GMT 1
Oh Monkey, you were my friend
I still remember when we went ape at sc***horpe
Even PG chimps could not make a cuppa like you
Oh Monkey, were have you gone?
I am so lonely
My house is empty
I am crushed...
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Post by mysticmurray on Apr 21, 2004 22:37:48 GMT 1
hate to say it, but;
What's all this monkey business?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2004 22:53:06 GMT 1
Let's just hope the rumours of him going to Hartlepool are unfounded or its curtains for him......
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Post by mysticmurray on Apr 21, 2004 22:54:25 GMT 1
let's hope he isn't going to Kidderminster, else it will be carpets for him.
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Post by Pilch on Apr 22, 2004 0:55:25 GMT 1
lets hope he isn't going to Telford
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Post by grinfish on Apr 22, 2004 1:17:19 GMT 1
Hope he hasn't gone to Scarborough, or he'll have had his chips.
He'd be all washed up if he went to Morecambe.
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Post by Thirty Shrewster on Apr 22, 2004 11:18:44 GMT 1
Just as long as it's not Stoke, else there will be nothing there for him!
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Post by soupie on Apr 22, 2004 14:07:13 GMT 1
I hardly slept last night worrying about monkey. I'm trying to do some decorating today and can't concentrate. Have there been any developments from the ransom demand? Never mind Saturday at Morecambe - never even mind the playoffs - release monkey, send him home and make me happy again.
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Post by Wiggy unplugged on Apr 22, 2004 14:23:17 GMT 1
There seems to be a lot of monkey-stealing going on, lately. I thought I spotted Steve the Gorilla on my way to work. He was fastened to the back of a white van that belonged to a Liverpool builder. (Honestly- I am NOT kidding!) I was wondering if Monkey's captors had taken him to Scouseland- heaven help him if they have. However- when I got closer- I could see that it was definitetly NOT Steve. This one was shorter, and even fatter- and had lighter brown fur. I was beiginning to think you may have to widen your search- get Merseyside Police involved. "What next", I thought- "INTERPOL? Police blocks at all airports and ferry- terminals?" Hopefully, he's still in Shrewsbury. Do we give in to Terrorists? Or is the safety of Monkey the prime consideration, regardless of cost?!!!!!
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Post by Bilbo on Apr 22, 2004 15:24:07 GMT 1
Wiggy Quoted!!! ""However- when I got closer- I could see that it was definitetly NOT Steve. This one was shorter, and even fatter- and had lighter brown fur."" What was Pilch doing near Liverpool
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Post by Blueshrew on Apr 22, 2004 17:49:39 GMT 1
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