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Post by wiganshrew2 on May 20, 2005 12:43:27 GMT 1
Blame "The Saint" - he started it with that Friday giggles thread!!! The cheeky monkey! Two elderley people go for their annual check-up. After the doctor has examined the old man, he says, "We'll, you're in remarkably good shape for your age- what's your secret?" The old man replies, " I don't drink too much, I don't smoke- and The Good Lord looks after me!" "What do you mean, 'the good Lord looks after you? What does he do?" replied the doctor. The old man explained, " When I have to go to the toilet in the night, He puts the light on for me!" The doctor calls the old man's wife in next. "Your husband is very healthy for his age, but I think he's suffering from delusions, he tells me the good Lord puts the light on for him when he needs to go to the toilet in the night!" "Oh! That explains it!" said the old woman " I've been wondering who's been wee-ing in the 'fridge!!!"
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Post by alecwillis on May 20, 2005 14:21:05 GMT 1
as heard in Fred Wedlock's act over the years. He's got the pub at Ashton Gate
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Post by wiganshrew2 on May 20, 2005 15:17:34 GMT 1
Well, I got it out of Mr Wiggy's Reader's Digest!- perhaps who ever sent it in had been to see this guy!
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Post by OldGit on May 20, 2005 16:53:11 GMT 1
A man goes to a pub and has a few pints. Later he asks the Landlord if he can use the Loo "of course says the Landlord, you don't need to ask". The man says thanks and explains "I always ask, because I take salts". The Landlord is a bit baffled, but is too polite to ask and goes on serving his customers. A little while later one of the regulars goes to the loo and comes back looking miffed "that is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!" he declares "what a disgrace" and storms off. The Landlord is puzzled and goes to investigate, the loo is a scene of unbelievable horror, there is poo everywhere - up the walls, across the floors, all over the doors and in the sink. He goes storming out into the pub and accosts the earlier customer "what the hell did you do? What sort of salts are you taking - Liver salts?" "No" says the man "Somersaults" ;D
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Post by Bilbo on May 20, 2005 18:51:20 GMT 1
I went to see a Faith Healing Show last night........
It was that bad, that a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out ;D
I'll get my coat now!!!!!
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