|
Post by aleix on Apr 9, 2005 22:48:02 GMT 1
...joke thread! yay! How do you get 7 holes into one? You stick a flute up yer arse ;D More please!
|
|
|
Post by shysophie on Apr 9, 2005 23:12:15 GMT 1
3 men were lost in the desert starving hungry when they spotted a camel.After a discussion they decided to eat which part of the camel they wanted.The first guy said "I support Hartlepool so I'll eat the heart." The second guy said, "I support Liverpool,I'll eat the liver." And the third guy said "I support Arsenal.....but I'm not all that hungry."
|
|
|
Post by blueandamber on Apr 9, 2005 23:31:20 GMT 1
What's white, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
a fridge.
|
|
|
Post by mr1972 on Apr 9, 2005 23:46:52 GMT 1
tumbleweed
|
|
|
Post by CuyahogaBlue on Apr 10, 2005 0:36:01 GMT 1
Did you watch any of the "March Madness" Tar Heels had a fun weekend ;D
|
|
|
Post by x emz x on Apr 10, 2005 8:56:15 GMT 1
jokes....hmmm.....ant thomas
|
|
|
Post by Mrslowe on Apr 10, 2005 11:02:08 GMT 1
jokes....hmmm.....ant thomas lol u meany
|
|
I_8_telford
Midland League Division Two
"HOW DARE YOU!"
Posts: 107
|
Post by I_8_telford on Apr 10, 2005 11:36:57 GMT 1
Heres a good joke...
Jimmy Quinn ;D
|
|
|
Post by meoleshrew2 on Apr 10, 2005 11:37:38 GMT 1
I'm hopeless in the jokes department, but this is the only thread worth posting on today Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would." But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable." poor I know
|
|
|
Post by meoleshrew2 on Apr 10, 2005 11:39:47 GMT 1
one more to drive you mad...
Psychic Society Conference 1200 people attended the recent International Psychic Society conference.
Moderator: "How many attendees believe in ghosts?" (Over 80% of the hands were raised)
Moderator: "How many have actually seen a ghost?" (58% of the hands were raised)
Moderator: "How many believe that a ghost can be solid?" (23% of the hands were raised)
Moderator: "How many have ever physically touched a ghost?" (3% of the hands were raised)
Moderator: "How many have ever had sex with a ghost?" (After some pause one lonely hand at the back of the hall went up)
Moderator: "May I ask where you are from, sir?" Attendee: "I am from Australia."
Moderator: "And you say you've had sex with a ghost?"
Attendee: "Oh sorry! I thought you said "goat."
|
|
|
Post by lazyshrew on Apr 10, 2005 11:46:20 GMT 1
John Prescott and the seven deadly chins!
|
|
|
Post by lazyshrew on Apr 10, 2005 11:48:07 GMT 1
Kevin Ratcliffe was given 30 million to sign two world class defenders.
He signed Rio Ferdinand and John Terry.
The only problem was he wasnt sure which one to play along side Matt Redmile.
|
|
I_8_telford
Midland League Division Two
"HOW DARE YOU!"
Posts: 107
|
Post by I_8_telford on Apr 10, 2005 12:18:44 GMT 1
|
|
|
Post by john on Apr 10, 2005 14:26:29 GMT 1
With all the talk on this board about negative attitudes here is a joke that makes the point well.
A farmer is talking to his wife after his tractor breaks down he says " what am i goin to do i have some much work to do and no tractor" she replys he should go and talk to ray the farmer next door who has a brand new tractor.
As he closes his door he thinks to himself he won't lend me his tractor, there no way he will lend me his new tractor he's only had it for a couple of days.
As he gets closer to the neighbours house dought enters his head again and finds himself thinking rays a tight arse he won't lend me his tractor, that tight fisted git would,nt do anything to help someone else out.
He get to the neighbours door and rings the door bell. His neighbours ray the farmer answers the door, quick as a flash the farmer in need says " f**k your tractor i don't need it anyway" and storms off
|
|