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Post by WindsorShrew on Feb 25, 2015 14:05:48 GMT 1
Our resident deluded socialist Matron is being admitted to Hospital this afternoon, now before any of you lot start celebrating here's what's going on.
Matron is a part time health worker who spends most of his days on here, spouting left wing drivel or eating, his body has obviously suffered from the years of abuse and last month his stomach exploded like a sceptic volcano of pus. Matron of course didn't notice as his XXXL Y fronts are so tight they appeared to hold everything together so he carried on turning up to work to play computer games until it was monthly underpants change time (he turns them inside out).
Anyway one large area of his Y fronts was green rather than the normal brown so at least his wife knew something was amiss.
Having spent years in the health service he completely failed to notice he was in fact ill, mind you he does that with 99% of patients as well so no change there then. So he has been diagnosed with a "tummy ache" which is a result of the latin disease "spoutus crapus".
Pab now plans to be in Hospital for 3 days - sadly as he demanded a 6 man room to himself 5 pensioners have been sent home untreated, well I say sent home basically they were just kicked out of the hospital as is NHS routine - but on a positive note Pab has his own room. He has said and I quote "they can come back when ive gone if their still alive".
Pab has also stated that he is grateful for the prompt medical care under a Conservative government - one cannot begin to imagine the mess had Milliband and Balls been in charge. Even a man the size of Pab can only explode so much.....
He has asked for cash donations only from all his friends on B and A.
As chairperson of the Shropshire Transsexual and Transgender Society he will unfortunately have to miss next weeks meeting in the usual dogging hotspot near Albrighton, he does hope to be able to wear his turquoise sequinned chamois outfit for the annual Gay Pride bash in May.
That's about it - oh apart from the fact that he stated he will get over 100 get well messages off the buffoons on here.....
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Post by BelleVueShrew on Feb 25, 2015 14:10:25 GMT 1
Windsor - you are awful, but I like you (in true Dick Emery style)
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Post by Uncle_Monkey on Feb 25, 2015 14:14:21 GMT 1
Blimey - that came on quick, he was posting on here 2 hours ago.
Bloody Thatcher's fault I expect.
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Post by atcham jack on Feb 25, 2015 14:15:36 GMT 1
Matron get well soon, we have had our run ins and your stomach cramps will have not been assisted by R s**t result at wigan. I wish you well and a speedy return to our boards. thank goodness I say for Accrington Stanley and your voluminous Y fronts.
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Post by atcham jack on Feb 25, 2015 14:18:53 GMT 1
perhaps matron perhaps I may leave you with this comic post card ditty. "nurse I said remove his Spectacles"!
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Post by thesensationaljt on Feb 25, 2015 15:23:23 GMT 1
Get well soon, owd lad. Hope you come home fighting fit.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2015 15:32:30 GMT 1
Puff........... get back to work, idle t**t!!
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Post by twoleftfeet on Feb 25, 2015 16:14:01 GMT 1
Our resident deluded socialist Matron is being admitted to Hospital this afternoon, now before any of you lot start celebrating here's what's going on.
Matron is a part time health worker who spends most of his days on here, spouting left wing drivel or eating, his body has obviously suffered from the years of abuse and last month his stomach exploded like a sceptic volcano of pus. Matron of course didn't notice as his XXXL Y fronts are so tight they appeared to hold everything together so he carried on turning up to work to play computer games until it was monthly underpants change time (he turns them inside out).
Anyway one large area of his Y fronts was green rather than the normal brown so at least his wife knew something was amiss.
Having spent years in the health service he completely failed to notice he was in fact ill, mind you he does that with 99% of patients as well so no change there then. So he has been diagnosed with a "tummy ache" which is a result of the latin disease "spoutus cr@pus".
Pab now plans to be in Hospital for 3 days - sadly as he demanded a 6 man room to himself 5 pensioners have been sent home untreated, well I say sent home basically they were just kicked out of the hospital as is NHS routine - but on a positive note Pab has his own room. He has said and I quote "they can come back when ive gone if their still alive".
Pab has also stated that he is grateful for the prompt medical care under a Conservative government - one cannot begin to imagine the mess had Milliband and Balls been in charge. Even a man the size of Pab can only explode so much.....
He has asked for cash donations only from all his friends on B and A.
As chairperson of the Shropshire Transsexual and Transgender Society he will unfortunately have to miss next weeks meeting in the usual dogging hotspot near Albrighton, he does hope to be able to wear his turquoise sequinned chamois outfit for the annual Gay Pride bash in May.
That's about it - oh apart from the fact that he stated he will get over 100 get well messages off the buffoons on here.....
By far the best post on this forum for some time. sure dad will love this!!!
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Post by buryshrew on Feb 25, 2015 16:24:05 GMT 1
Get well soon Matron. Private room? Favouritism, that's what that is!
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Post by TheFoz on Feb 25, 2015 16:29:21 GMT 1
Get well soon Matron
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Post by shrewforever on Feb 25, 2015 16:35:21 GMT 1
Windy no point saying you can be an absolute tw@t as those that sadly know you know that is and has always been the case...........
Ignore the fascist idiot Pab, as I know you will anyway, and get well soon mate.........
Lets just hope he doesn't come and visit you as he unfortunately did me recently, on more than one occasion, hard to believe anyone could be that unlucky I know but I was............speedy recovery fella..........
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Post by staffordshrew on Feb 25, 2015 16:46:44 GMT 1
Get well soon, you are in good hands 'cos you are off sick!
Watch out for those slimy Tories doing "safe in our hands" visits - don't want to end up on the news with Cameron hovering over you. Do you still have your Thatch card?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2015 17:24:44 GMT 1
Sending you every best wish for a speedy recovery .
Learnt some things about you owd lad from Windsorshrews post which may come in very handy in the future . Who needs enemies when you've got friends like WS .
Chin up ( all seven of em ) .
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Post by shrewder on Feb 25, 2015 18:16:28 GMT 1
All the best for a speedy recovery.
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Post by El Presidente on Feb 25, 2015 19:28:50 GMT 1
Must have been the excitement over solar eclipses...esss....
Mind you, I've yet to see Windy and Pab in the same room at the same time...are they the same person!?
Get well soon.
xxx
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2015 20:17:56 GMT 1
Get well soon owd lad
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2015 20:19:07 GMT 1
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Post by thesensationaljt on Feb 25, 2015 20:30:44 GMT 1
Years ago, I sent some Juan a Get Fairly Well Very Slowly Card.
And no, I'm not Joe King.
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Post by El Presidente on Feb 25, 2015 20:50:19 GMT 1
Years ago, I sent some Juan a Get Fairly Well Very Slowly Card.
And no, I'm not Joe King. How is the missus now?
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Post by scooter on Feb 25, 2015 21:13:15 GMT 1
Get well soon Pab. I'm sure you will get excellent care
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Shrewsfan1985
The Loggerheads
Posts: 23,891
My first team is..: Shrewsbury
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Post by Shrewsfan1985 on Feb 25, 2015 21:17:36 GMT 1
Get Well Soon.
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Post by thesensationaljt on Feb 25, 2015 21:41:05 GMT 1
Years ago, I sent some Juan a Get Fairly Well Very Slowly Card.
And no, I'm not Joe King. How is the missus now? She's fairly well thanks, but it's a slow job.
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Post by simpsonsghost on Feb 25, 2015 23:03:12 GMT 1
Our resident deluded socialist Matron is being admitted to Hospital this afternoon, now before any of you lot start celebrating here's what's going on.
Matron is a part time health worker who spends most of his days on here, spouting left wing drivel or eating, his body has obviously suffered from the years of abuse and last month his stomach exploded like a sceptic volcano of pus. Matron of course didn't notice as his XXXL Y fronts are so tight they appeared to hold everything together so he carried on turning up to work to play computer games until it was monthly underpants change time (he turns them inside out).
Anyway one large area of his Y fronts was green rather than the normal brown so at least his wife knew something was amiss.
Having spent years in the health service he completely failed to notice he was in fact ill, mind you he does that with 99% of patients as well so no change there then. So he has been diagnosed with a "tummy ache" which is a result of the latin disease "spoutus cr@pus".
Pab now plans to be in Hospital for 3 days - sadly as he demanded a 6 man room to himself 5 pensioners have been sent home untreated, well I say sent home basically they were just kicked out of the hospital as is NHS routine - but on a positive note Pab has his own room. He has said and I quote "they can come back when ive gone if their still alive".
Pab has also stated that he is grateful for the prompt medical care under a Conservative government - one cannot begin to imagine the mess had Milliband and Balls been in charge. Even a man the size of Pab can only explode so much.....
He has asked for cash donations only from all his friends on B and A.
As chairperson of the Shropshire Transsexual and Transgender Society he will unfortunately have to miss next weeks meeting in the usual dogging hotspot near Albrighton, he does hope to be able to wear his turquoise sequinned chamois outfit for the annual Gay Pride bash in May.
That's about it - oh apart from the fact that he stated he will get over 100 get well messages off the buffoons on here.....
An absolute load of drivel which leaves everyone none the wiser as to what is happening in the Health Service - you are Jeremy Hunt in every sense of the words. And get up and out Pab you bed-blocker !!!!!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2015 18:34:21 GMT 1
Thanks for the good wishes and utter lack of sympathy chaps. Op yesterday afternoon, couple of days sampling narcotics and home for 6 weeks R and R.
God bless Windsorshrew and his NHS contributions!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2015 18:52:59 GMT 1
Thanks for the good wishes and utter lack of sympathy chaps. Op yesterday afternoon, couple of days sampling narcotics and home for 6 weeks R and R. God bless Windsorshrew and his NHS contributions! 6 weeks on full pay eh...... get some foreigners in there eh!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2015 19:50:51 GMT 1
Thanks for the good wishes and utter lack of sympathy chaps. Op yesterday afternoon, couple of days sampling narcotics and home for 6 weeks R and R. God bless Windsorshrew and his NHS contributions! 6 weeks on full pay eh...... get some foreigners in there eh!! NHS isn't a closed shop Mr D. I'm sure I could help you get a job if you want in!
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Post by atcham jack on Feb 27, 2015 21:22:17 GMT 1
ay up Matron, welcome back.
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Shrewsfan1985
The Loggerheads
Posts: 23,891
My first team is..: Shrewsbury
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Post by Shrewsfan1985 on Feb 27, 2015 21:45:09 GMT 1
Good luck for a speedy recovery.
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