Post by Deleted on Oct 27, 2014 13:56:48 GMT 1
Albert Stroller – August. The season begins………………
The new squad has been taking shape and we are beginning to get to know each other.
I have now got into a daily routine, starting each day by helping Mr Burton finish off his newspaper round before we both cycle into the Greenhous Meadow.
Arriving at 9.00am we normally see Mr Williams striding across the car park in his tangerine tracksuit, accompanied on most mornings by his two pet ferrets……….
The Chairman normally arrived shortly afterwards on foot. Luckily, since selling his house (to fund the squad transfers),and moving into rented accommodation, the Chairman had found a small flat on Oteley Road…..
Mid Mornings the players usually had a rest break. Lord Nathaniel Knight-Percival of Peterborough would send out his man servant to obtain toast and drinks. We all laughed when he called us his subjects…..
Mr Manghan was always the last in for training each day. Mr Goldson explained that this was because William Hills didn’t open until 10.30 am…………I am not sure what he meant ……
In the early weeks of training Mr Lawrence was frequently absent from the ground, but Mr Robinson explained that this was because he was starring in a remake of a famous old film. I found this fascinating and enquired what the film was called.
‘’Debbie does Dallas’’ chuckled Mr Robinson
I decided that I would ask my Mum if she had seen this film when I got home…………….
After each days training sessions had ended, Mr McMellon demanded that we all join him in a ‘dram’ whilst he lamented us with his bagpipes………….
Mr McMellon and Radio Shropshire.
Before the season began the Producer at the BBC had made the club aware that they would not tolerate any further acts of violence against their Staff in interview situations. The Chairman assured the BBC Producers that the new Manager had been warned.
Mr McMellon was due to give his first post-match interview after the home game against Tranmere. We won the game with two goals in the dying seconds of the match and everybody celebrated wildly in the dressing room.
I decided to watch the interview……..
The man from the BBC asked Mr McMellon live on air for his thoughts about the team scoring two goals in the 90th minute.
Mr McMellon had managed to calm his nerves before the interview with a small glass of his special Irn Bru, but was still very excited………..
‘Icannaf***inbeleeeveit…………f**kme’ He exclaimed
There was a thud as the BBC producer fainted…………….
The live feed from Greenhous Meadow was pulled by the BBC and replaced by Gardners world….
Mr McMellon was led away by Mr Whitters…………….
The Ice Bucket Challenge.
The Chairman of Walsall had Challenged Mr Wycherely to the Ice Bucket challenge. Mr Williams thought this was a great idea and persuaded the Chairman to take part, telling him this would be an opportunity to demonstrate to the fans that the Chairman was one of them…………..
The players and staff gathered in the family stand to watch the Chairmans ice bucket challenge. Mr Williams had decided that he would be responsible for pouring the ice cold water over the chairman, and had delegated the task of getting the ice cold water to young Mr Caton.
Mr Whitters was in charge of filming the event for the ‘special website’
The Chairman sat down on a chair and addressed the camera, stating how he was honoured to accept the challenge and support the charity. At this point young Mr Caton handed the bucket to a beaming Mr Williams……
As Mr Williams tipped the bucket over the Chairmans head, we suddenly realised that young Mr Caton might have left the bucket in the freezer a little too long……………….
Mr Williams gasped and farted loudly as the solid block of ice shattered over the Chairmans head………
The impact of the ice block sent the Chairman flying forward, and as he landed on the concrete floor in front of the family stand, his false teeth flew across the floor and landed at my feet……………
Mr Williams sobbed as we tried to get the dazed Chairman back to his feet……….
As Mr Williams led the semi-conscious Chairman away we all noticed that there was a large brown patch in the back of Mr William’s Tangerine tracksuit bottoms………….
Later that evening Mr Caton was put on the transfer list………………….
Team DNA
Mr McMellon had decided that all senior players who had not been personally signed by him would need to have a DNA test.
The following day Mr Wildig was found sobbing in the dressing room……………….Mr Macca explained that Mr Wildig had just found out that he had failed the test…………………..
Mr Lootwiler
So far the goalkeepers shirt had been taken by Mr Lootwiler and he played in all the games in August.
‘I bet he will be dropped soon’ said Mr Manghan as he dashed off to William Hills………
The following day at training, some of the players planted a bucket of concrete with a pair of Mr Lootwilers boots stuck in the concrete, on the goal line………………..
Mr Lootwiler was upset…………………Mr Burton laughed……………….Mr Ackpo didn’t get the joke….
Mr McMellons Tracksuit
Since arriving at the club Mr McMellon was very unhappy with the training kit and could be found regularly arguing with the Lady in the Clubshop.
On one particular morning he demanded a new tracksuit top from the clubshop, after seeing a picture of himself in the Shropshire Star.
‘Listenlassie…….acannawearthis……thistracksuitmaks melooklikearightfatbast**d……deye understawnd’ he said to the lady in the clubshop.
The lady in the clubshop and her assistant, both agreed that the tracksuit did in fact make him look like a right fat ba***stard…………..
Mr McMellon stormed off……………………
TO BE CONTINUED........
The new squad has been taking shape and we are beginning to get to know each other.
I have now got into a daily routine, starting each day by helping Mr Burton finish off his newspaper round before we both cycle into the Greenhous Meadow.
Arriving at 9.00am we normally see Mr Williams striding across the car park in his tangerine tracksuit, accompanied on most mornings by his two pet ferrets……….
The Chairman normally arrived shortly afterwards on foot. Luckily, since selling his house (to fund the squad transfers),and moving into rented accommodation, the Chairman had found a small flat on Oteley Road…..
Mid Mornings the players usually had a rest break. Lord Nathaniel Knight-Percival of Peterborough would send out his man servant to obtain toast and drinks. We all laughed when he called us his subjects…..
Mr Manghan was always the last in for training each day. Mr Goldson explained that this was because William Hills didn’t open until 10.30 am…………I am not sure what he meant ……
In the early weeks of training Mr Lawrence was frequently absent from the ground, but Mr Robinson explained that this was because he was starring in a remake of a famous old film. I found this fascinating and enquired what the film was called.
‘’Debbie does Dallas’’ chuckled Mr Robinson
I decided that I would ask my Mum if she had seen this film when I got home…………….
After each days training sessions had ended, Mr McMellon demanded that we all join him in a ‘dram’ whilst he lamented us with his bagpipes………….
Mr McMellon and Radio Shropshire.
Before the season began the Producer at the BBC had made the club aware that they would not tolerate any further acts of violence against their Staff in interview situations. The Chairman assured the BBC Producers that the new Manager had been warned.
Mr McMellon was due to give his first post-match interview after the home game against Tranmere. We won the game with two goals in the dying seconds of the match and everybody celebrated wildly in the dressing room.
I decided to watch the interview……..
The man from the BBC asked Mr McMellon live on air for his thoughts about the team scoring two goals in the 90th minute.
Mr McMellon had managed to calm his nerves before the interview with a small glass of his special Irn Bru, but was still very excited………..
‘Icannaf***inbeleeeveit…………f**kme’ He exclaimed
There was a thud as the BBC producer fainted…………….
The live feed from Greenhous Meadow was pulled by the BBC and replaced by Gardners world….
Mr McMellon was led away by Mr Whitters…………….
The Ice Bucket Challenge.
The Chairman of Walsall had Challenged Mr Wycherely to the Ice Bucket challenge. Mr Williams thought this was a great idea and persuaded the Chairman to take part, telling him this would be an opportunity to demonstrate to the fans that the Chairman was one of them…………..
The players and staff gathered in the family stand to watch the Chairmans ice bucket challenge. Mr Williams had decided that he would be responsible for pouring the ice cold water over the chairman, and had delegated the task of getting the ice cold water to young Mr Caton.
Mr Whitters was in charge of filming the event for the ‘special website’
The Chairman sat down on a chair and addressed the camera, stating how he was honoured to accept the challenge and support the charity. At this point young Mr Caton handed the bucket to a beaming Mr Williams……
As Mr Williams tipped the bucket over the Chairmans head, we suddenly realised that young Mr Caton might have left the bucket in the freezer a little too long……………….
Mr Williams gasped and farted loudly as the solid block of ice shattered over the Chairmans head………
The impact of the ice block sent the Chairman flying forward, and as he landed on the concrete floor in front of the family stand, his false teeth flew across the floor and landed at my feet……………
Mr Williams sobbed as we tried to get the dazed Chairman back to his feet……….
As Mr Williams led the semi-conscious Chairman away we all noticed that there was a large brown patch in the back of Mr William’s Tangerine tracksuit bottoms………….
Later that evening Mr Caton was put on the transfer list………………….
Team DNA
Mr McMellon had decided that all senior players who had not been personally signed by him would need to have a DNA test.
The following day Mr Wildig was found sobbing in the dressing room……………….Mr Macca explained that Mr Wildig had just found out that he had failed the test…………………..
Mr Lootwiler
So far the goalkeepers shirt had been taken by Mr Lootwiler and he played in all the games in August.
‘I bet he will be dropped soon’ said Mr Manghan as he dashed off to William Hills………
The following day at training, some of the players planted a bucket of concrete with a pair of Mr Lootwilers boots stuck in the concrete, on the goal line………………..
Mr Lootwiler was upset…………………Mr Burton laughed……………….Mr Ackpo didn’t get the joke….
Mr McMellons Tracksuit
Since arriving at the club Mr McMellon was very unhappy with the training kit and could be found regularly arguing with the Lady in the Clubshop.
On one particular morning he demanded a new tracksuit top from the clubshop, after seeing a picture of himself in the Shropshire Star.
‘Listenlassie…….acannawearthis……thistracksuitmaks melooklikearightfatbast**d……deye understawnd’ he said to the lady in the clubshop.
The lady in the clubshop and her assistant, both agreed that the tracksuit did in fact make him look like a right fat ba***stard…………..
Mr McMellon stormed off……………………
TO BE CONTINUED........